


Le Crayset

by Quokkalicious



Series: Snappy Sapshots [1]
Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Amy has a specific idea of sexy talk and Jake knows, F/M, Idiots in Love, Jake cooks for Amy, This Is STUPID, and entirely self-indulgent, set directly after 5x13 "The Negotiation"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24649069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quokkalicious/pseuds/Quokkalicious
Summary: After an eventful day, Jake uses their pre-wedding gift – a brandnew Le Creuset pot in French grey – to surprise Amy. Some feelings and hilarity ensue.
Relationships: Doug Judy & Jake Peralta, Jake Peralta/Amy Santiago
Series: Snappy Sapshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1782160
Comments: 12
Kudos: 45





	Le Crayset

**Author's Note:**

> I had this stupid little headcanon, so I wrote it. Also, this was not sponsored by a certain French culinary brand (even though their shit is fantastic – I couldn’t afford one of their pots without robbing a jewelry store *wink-wink*, but my Mom has one and it’s honestly grand)

Jake hadn’t thought he’d get to use Judy’s present quite so early – but when Amy had texted him that she was back at the precinct after she had used her day off to help out Charles and would still take a while to come home, he’d gone to work immediately. By now, the meat he’d bought at the small deli around the corner was stewing in the oven in a stylish french grey shell and the smell that had accompanied most of his happier childhood memories was wafting through their kitchen. He had begun working on the sauce, checking back with the recipe every few minutes, when he heard keys rattling in the lock.

Amy had pushed the door open, looking like she could use a three-day-nap, but she stopped dead in her tracks when the tasty smell hit her nose.

“You’re cooking?” She curiously ventured towards the kitchen unit, pecking Jake on the cheek in greeting before scanning his work on the stove – he’d just deglazed the braised onions and veggies with red wine and was reaching for the hand blender now – and finally bent over to peek through the oven door.

“Uhh, a Le Creuset pot? Where did you get that from?” She asked, standing up.

“’Twas a gift from a generous, kind and definitely anonymous soul who deemed it necessary that we have one,” he said, purposely beating around the bush.

Amy fixed him with a flat expression. “It was Doug Judy, right?”

“Yep.”

Jake looked up when his admission was met with silence. She didn’t exactly look impressed, but she didn’t seem to be angry, either.

“You’re not protesting a gift from a criminal?” he probed.

Amy shrugged. “You say he’s your friend. And a Le Creuset from Doug Judy beats having no Le Creuset at all.” She sniffed the air. “It really smells fantastic, Jake. What are you making?”

He turned back towards the stove, concentrating on boiling down the sauce without letting it burn. “My mom’s passover brisket – although passover technically isn’t until like three weeks’ time, so I guess it’s just an ordinary-Tuesday-brisket, although today wasn’t _really_ an ordinary Tuesday… Oh! Do you think I should call it the ‘Negotiator brisket’? Man, that would be awesome-”

“What?!” She sounded panicked, and he turned back to her with a puzzled expression.

“What what?”

“Why a roast? Oh God, please don’t tell me my parents are spontaneously coming to dinner! I had a really long day and I can’t-”

“Relax, Ames, they’re not coming. You know as well as I do that they demand at least a week’s notice for social obligations. No, it’s just us two, I wanted to do something nice for you – normally we just have takeout when we’re both knackered.”

Amy deflated, feeling thoroughly humbled. “You didn’t have to. But that’s really considerate of you, thanks.”

He shrugged and smiled at her. “I have my moments.” While he went back to busying himself with the sauce, Amy had dropped her bag on the couch and steered towards their bedroom, wanting to change into something more comfortable.

After some minutes, arms were wrapping around Jake from behind, and he slightly turned his head towards Amy’s on his shoulder.

“Want me to let you in on a little secret?”

“Mmhhhm,” she hummed, and he could feel her nodding enthusiastically.

“I wanted this surprise for you to be top-notch, so I called my mom today for the recipe. She mailed it to me – the wording was totally professional, by the way – I printed it, then I laminated and punched it-”

“Oooh, mama.”

“- and then I put it inside our shining, brand-new, mutual binder labeled ‘Santiago-Peralta family recipes’ as the proud first entry.”

Amy peeled off his back, only to turn him around to face her not a second later. Her gaze was heated.

“I love your idea of dirty talk and I’m like-- _crazy_ down to have sex with you right now,” she breathed.

Jake pulled a dramatic face. “I know, babe, but then this wonderful roast would go cold and ultimately to waste, and that’s an injustice the world can’t take today. So keep that energy until after dinner… we could still have dessert.” He winked cheesily, and Amy bit her lip to keep from laughing, because he was ridiculous and absolutely perfect. And somehow, her eyes were maybe stinging a bit.

She couldn’t really put her finger on _why_ his gesture moved her so much – they were already engaged and set to marry in only a few weeks time, for God’s sake – but somehow, right now, bringing together their family recipes... in a new binder, no less, was the epitome of commitment and devotion for her. They were starting something that was completely their own, and she couldn’t be happier about it.

She wasn’t even conscious of the fact that tears had started rolling down her face, she just wondered why Jake’s shocked face was looking so blurry all of a sudden.

He was looking at her like she had just yelled “Fuck the system!” at the top of her lungs. He tentatively reached for her,  a worried frown creasing his forehead. “Did I say something wrong? Is everything-”

She cut him off by jumping into his arms.

“I just love you so much!” she sobbed into his shoulder.

“Ohh-- okay?” His arms were tightly coiling around her back and he tilted his head to nuzzle hers. “I love you, too, Ames. More than I could ever put into my stunted and stilted words,” he replied, causing her to snort wetly.

Their intense hug lasted about a minute longer before Jake began to fidget nervously. “Um… babe, not that I’m not loving this, but I’m _puh-retty_ , kinda extra-sure that I’m going to ruin dinner if I keep standing here, and that would really be a shame – I mean, it turned you on like in a crazy effective way, and we haven’t even eaten-”

“Sure, sorry.” Amy stepped back out of his embrace with a feeble laugh, wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks and sending a wobbly but loving smile his way. “Can I help somehow?”

“Nuh-uh, you sit your beautiful butt down, this is still a surprise for you,” Jake said, waggling his finger at her. “I’m almost ready anyway, I’ll just need about five more minutes.”

She nodded and sat down at the already set table, feeling all giddy and cherished and overwhelmed at once.

“You know, why don’t you tell me about your day while I’m busy?” Jake asked, throwing a number of seasonings into the pot and stirring.

“Hmm, there’s not all that much to tell. Gina had dragged me along to go shopping for something during her break, but we came across Charles’s food truck and he looked… taxed, and that’s putting it nicely. We helped out, but he went all ‘Nana Boyle’ on us, so it wasn’t exactly pleasant. We mutually decided to end our culinary cooperation.” She paused and snorted. “You know, one time he yelled at me, asking me whether I thought he looked like you because I was ostensibly trying to screw him.”

Jake snickered into the pot. “While I do find that hilarious, I kinda wonder if I need to take him aside for another talk about boundaries.”

“Oh, dear. And then it’s gonna be different, how? Maybe save that for real incidents, that was just Charles being… himself.” She sighed. “That was the most stressful free day I ever had, I think.”

“All the more reason for me to balance it out with this dinner.”

He took the stew out of the oven and carried the pots over to the table, setting them down on the trivets he’d arranged there.

“Dinner is served, mademoiselle,” he announced in the most overdone French accent she’d ever heard, causing her to giggle in her seat.

“I thank you kindly, Rémy.”

Jake sat down and filled both their plates. “If you’re doing what I think you’re doing-- namely comparing me to Disney’s incredible cooking rat, then let me tell you this...” He send her a serious look after a dramatic pause. “I ain’t even mad.” He grinned suddenly, crowing “Bon appetit!” and started to tuck in.

“Mmmh, thiff ith thooo good,” Amy contentedly moaned around her first bite. She swallowed and continued. “Hitchcock and Scully had already massacred the brisket at your Freedom Feast, so I didn’t get to taste it then, but I understand why this is one of your all time favorites.” She pierced some more pieces with her fork, before pointing it at him. “Hey, you didn’t tell me about your day yet. I heard some talk around the bullpen-- did Judy really take hostages? And what was the whole thing with Halloway about?”

“Yeah, Judy kinda did have hostages, but it was mostly one of his more elaborate schemes. He said he’d accidentally duped Halloway, who then wanted him to steal those diamonds. I traded Judy for Halloway, so to say, you know he’s the bigger fish, but then Judy vanished with the stones... It was kinda lookin’ bleak for me in the middle there, I was honestly thinking they’d take my badge, but the diamonds are back, so everything’s golden now. Plus, Judy and me settled on an official friendship hymn at the karaoke bar today, and he told me I’m a great hostage. Also, I found out that in the animal kingdom, I’d be an adorable little frog – Rosa was comparing Judy and me to some horrible fairy tale, I’m 92 percent sure that story is Diaz-specific. Also, I was able to brag with my documentary knowledge – kudos to you – when I told Judy that scorpions are arthropods and not bugs.” He chewed on his next bite. “Dennis from ESU was a real stick in the mud, though. But apart from that, my day was kinda cool.”

Amy had followed his ramble with a loving look, biting back a laugh. “I’m glad.”

With full bellies, they settled down on the couch to cuddle, a re-run of Property Brothers playing in the background.

“How do you feel about ‘Kiss from a Rose’?” Jake breached the comfortable silence between them.

“Huh?”

He snorted. “Judy offered to sing at our wedding today, and when he made off, he left a CD with ‘smush jams’ for us. He said they’d consummate the marriage for sure.”

Amy whirled around in his arms, staring at him with a look of great perturbance.

“His words, not mine!” Jake tried to mollify her.

“I still think that’s a no from me,” Amy said, pulling a face. She settled back down, but kept facing him.

They stared into each other’s eyes for a while, not needing any words, and it left her with a soft and cozy feeling of contentment.

“Can I tell you a little secret now?” She asked quietly.

Jake nodded eagerly.

She pulled her shoulders up to her ears, fixing him a calculating stare. “This was scrumptious, my precious!” she finally squawked in a terrifying, Gollum-like fashion.

Jake chortled. “You’re sooo weird-” He pecked her on the nose. “I love it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
